Why We Don’t Trust Our Bodies And What To Do To Build It

I want you to think of a special relationship you have in your life. Maybe this is with a friend, a parent, a family member. It took time to build trust with this person. Every time they showed up for you, every time they picked up the phone when you needed them, every time they gave you a ride to the airport, every time they offered a shoulder to cry on, this was noted where they became someone you could trust. That trust can lead to feeling safe in the world.

The same can be said for our relationship with our body. When we trust our body, this can cultivate a sense of confidence, safety, and self empowerment. We aren't born trusting or mistrusting our body. Based on our life experiences, that is learned over time. Mistrusting the body can keep us constantly in a fight or flight response, looking out for ourselves, where everything can feel dangerous. In this space, it can be harder to heal as we can only heal on deeper levels when we feel relaxed and safe. This is why cultivating trust within your body is so important to create the health, vibrancy, confidence, and empowerment you seek by trying to gain control of the body.

Here are 3 Trust Interrupters and 3 Trust Enhancers:

1. Trauma

Experiencing a traumatic event can make the body feel like an unsafe place to be in. If the trauma had to do with the body itself, then the body can feel like the enemy to stay away from at all costs. As we do whatever we can to numb out from the body, mistrust can grow over time.

2. Overriding Messages

Chronic dieting, cleansing, detoxing, drowning out hunger or fullness cues can all send the body the message that it is not something to be trusted. When our body tells us that it is hungry and we don't listen and when we force it to eat a certain way that doesn't resonate with it, we break down our relationship with our body.

3. Experts

Experts come in many forms. Experts can be things we put our power in or sometimes who unthoughtfully take our power away from us. Social media can be a place where bodily comparisons run rampant where you might end up telling your body it isn't good enough just as it is. Parents who told you what to eat, when to eat, and how much to eat can contribute to a broken sense of trust in your body. Doctors who denied how you felt could lead to a conflicting relationship with your body not knowing who or what to believe.

As you can see, there are many ways mistrust can be created with our body. And, we can create new opportunities to re-build that trust.

Here are 3 Trust Enhancers:

1. Show up for it

To re-build trust within your body, you need to start slowing down with it, hearing it out, and showing up for it. This is going to look unique to you. This might be through committing to a meditation practice to deepen into relationship with it. This might be through paying more attention to your bodily sensations and thanking your body for speaking to you. This might be giving your body pleasurable experiences like a self massage, a walk out in nature, a self hug. Just as we show up for those we love in our life to show them how much we appreciate them so they know they can trust us, we can do the same for our body. Every day you can explore how you want to show up for your body so that a trusting relationship can build over time.

2. Eat consistently

Your body needs consistent physical nourishment to thrive. Stabilizing our blood sugar levels throughout our day supports with stabilizing our moods where the body can feel relaxed and safe. Right now, you may not know when you're hungry or when you're full. You may need to re-learn these signals from your body over time since they have been potentially ignored for years. Commit to eating consistently. This may be eating around every 4-5 hours in the day. You will be telling your body that you will no longer abandon it and you will give it what it needs day in and day out. As you consistently eat every day, you may notice your hunger and fullness cues start to come back online as your body senses it will be getting what it needs and the lines of communication are open.

3. Listen for feedback

The body is talking to us all the time typically through sensations. To cultivate trust in your relationship with your body can mean bringing attention back to the sensations that show up every day and welcoming them in with open arms telling your body you are listening. Your body will give you feedback on what resonates with it and what doesn't through your quality of sleep, bowel movements, digestion, skin, mental clarity, and moods. When things are going smoothly, thank your body for giving you this feedback that it is resonating with the way it is being treated. When something starts to shift and change, thank your body again for giving you that feedback that it needs something different. This is how we stay in a committed relationship with our body grounded in trust.

Take all the time you need on this body trust journey. Just how it took years to get to where you are today in your relationship with your body, it will take time to create the kind of relationship you would like to have with it now. As you enhance your body trust, you may notice decision making become easier, feeling more self assured to navigate your day, and a deeper knowing that you can navigate anything that comes your way as you and your body are on the same team.