Stop Self Soothing with Food by Healing Your Relationship with Your Emotions

Welcome to the Satiated Podcast where we explore physical and emotional hunger, satiation and healing your relationship with your food and body. I'm your host, Stephanie Mara Fox, your Somatic Nutritional Counselor. I'm so looking forward to diving in today with Heidi Gruss. Heidi is a personal development coach, psychotherapist and entrepreneur. She holds a master's degree in mental health counseling, and specializes in working with those who are burned out and looking to make a change in their lives. She helps clients rapidly identify and overcome negative patterns of behavior that hold them back and work to improve their well being. Welcome, Heidi!

Heidi Gruss 00:46

Thank you so much.

Stephanie Mara 00:48

I'm so glad you're here today. And I would love to start off with learning more about your background and your history and how you got into this work.

Heidi Gruss 00:58

Yeah, you know, people always want to know this. And I, you know, I go all the way back to I was this like nerdy adolescent that really loved reading books about like, personal change, growth and development. You know, I like to come home and watch, you know, Oprah interview these different people. And I was just always fascinated, and I really believed I, that's where my belief came from, that every single person is capable of making change in their life. And then I got this audio, we're going cassette tape people, this cassette tape pack of a personal development book, basically. So it was before audible. And I listened to that over and over again, and there were really simple messages. Like, if you don't ask for what you want, you know, then you're never going to get it, the worst you're going to hear is no, right. And it's like, yeah, that's true, you know. And it just came back to all these simple principles. And I thought, jeez, if we can just make this simple for everyone, then maybe people could really achieve the change that they want to have. So that's where it all kind of began for me.

Stephanie Mara 02:04

I so resonate with being young, and just reading things that were just all about self development at such a young age, I totally resonate with that. So I'm curious if you could share more around your views of this transformation that you have walked your clients through and what that takes, because I think it's kind of a very trendy word that gets thrown around. And I would love to describe more around what a transformation actually means and what that can look like.

Heidi Gruss 02:39

In the simplest of terms, it's literally creating the journey for my clients from moving from focusing on the external and moving them back to the internal. And so you know, we have all of these big words that you know, people use, I want to feel more joy, I want to do I want to be successful, you know, I just want to feel better, I want to have better relationships. And I ask them to define that. Well, what does that mean to you? You know, because if I put five people in front of me, and I said, what does success mean? What what would joy look like for you? It would be different. And so I don't care what it looks like on social media. And I don't care what it looks like, you know, when these different, you know, books, or what a certain author tells you joy should be. I want to know, for you, what does that mean? And so that's really the first transformation that happens is it's shifting the value of what you say, think and feel is important. And we work on that self validation.

Stephanie Mara 03:38

I love that of self defining it. I'm such a big proponent of that as well, because we get all of these messages around what like you offered, quote, unquote, success looks like or even what is supposed to bring us joy. And that's such an individual process, that we're only going to learn through our body's feedback of it telling us what relaxes it and supports it in feeling safe and joyful.

Heidi Gruss 04:07

Exactly, exactly. And what works for me, might not work for the other person, you know, we have to understand what creates that inner harmony.

Stephanie Mara 04:16

Yeah, yeah. So something else that you like to teach about is what you call emotional security. And I'm curious if you could share more about that, and how do we build it?

Heidi Gruss 04:29

Yeah, that's a great question. So emotional security for me is, is creating a healthy relationship with your emotions. Right? So you know, there are people have schools of thought around there's positive and negative emotions and all of this. For me, feelings really are opportunities for us to learn about ourselves, you know, and we have an emotional response to things that sometimes we can only access through a physical sensation in the body. That's maybe what we are most closely connected to it first, then we, you know, through further exploration, we're able to pinpoint, oh, when my body feels this way, it is actually some nervousness or some overwhelm some restlessness, I try to stay away from big words like anxiety, or depression, those are more clinical terms for me. And, you know, I think sometimes we exacerbate our own feelings by giving them really big labels. So then when we use more simple terms, and let me just also preface this for the listeners that it may be helpful to go and reference a feeling sheet, you can pull it off of Pinterest, right, I should probably make one because I direct everybody to Pinterest, but to really understand all of the subsets of feelings that can fall under these really big categories of like mad or happy, right? So there's so many different types of ways we feel mad or angry. So having one of those two reference can be really, really helpful to understand and differentiate when you're feeling violated, versus when you're feeling frustrated, right? Because they can both almost manifest as mad or angry. It's helping clients understand first, you know, what is the specific feeling and when we can put a more specific label on it, I think that almost de-escalates the feeling. Then we can ask, What is this feeling trying to tell you? What is it that you need in this moment, right, so you're not powerless in the presence of this feeling. It's more trying to tell you, you need something, what's really important about slowing this process down and getting really specific about the need is it's going to interrupt the automated pattern of I'm feeling the sensation, I'm just gonna go and grab or do the thing that I've always done. And we all have these patterns, even when we think we've disrupted all of them. Another one surfaces, you know, and I think when we just automatically go into that defaulted behavior, that's when we become even more detached from our feelings. Because we're just, it's like, when you drive to work, and you're not even thinking about the route that you're taking, it's the same thing, we feel something, we just automatically go there, not even being really in the presence of that feeling to understand what it can what it can be teaching us in that moment, teaching us about ourselves.

Stephanie Mara 07:34

Yeah, so many layers here. So first, love that you're pointing out that we have to get out of automatic pilot mode in response to our emotions. That's so so so important, because that's where like, many individuals who listen to this podcast are navigating patterns of potentially binge eating or emotional eating or using food in a way to help self soothe. Not that that's a problem wrong or bad. It's been a resource for probably a really long time. And it's okay, I need to actually pause when I'm feeling the urge to go do this behavior and get really curious, what's underneath what emotions are present right now. And I'm actually also a big fan of de-labeling emotions as well, and saying, Okay, how does this actually feel in my body, instead of saying, I'm feeling anxiety, because then there's like a lot of story that's caught up with the word anxiety and what it means to feel that.

Heidi Gruss 08:37

I love that you just said story. I use that all the time when I'm talking to my clients, because, really, it that's what it is. And when we tell the story, we're then saying it's okay that this is happening. And so then we're almost off the hook for having to take responsibility to make the circumstance or the or the, the situation better for ourselves. Yeah.

Stephanie Mara 09:01

Yeah, and this is such a process. And I really want to name that because when, when we maybe been responding out of an emotion for a really long time to slow down and actually be with it is going to feel very intense at first. And so I'm curious, what have you found, be supportive to ease into starting to notice, even like you were talking about the different shape and color and intensity of what's showing up? What does that process look like have you seen?

Heidi Gruss 09:34

Yeah, so first, I think the process there has to be a value with carving out time for yourself. I mean, quiet time where you've got your own undivided attention, and it needs to happen on a daily basis. Right. So we talk about in my program, you know, you can do something once a week and if you're really trying to feel better from doing it once a week, it's not going to happen. You're going to do the thing, it'll be an event in your life, you'll finish the event and you'll be like, okay, cool, that felt good. That was nice. And then you move on to life as you know it, when you start doing something consistently on a daily basis, even after the first week, I'm okay if someone says, Yeah, I did it, and it was okay, you know, there's, listen, we're not looking for big fireworks and rainbows at the end of doing, you know, spending 30 minutes a day with yourself, it's not going to be life changing in the immediate in the short term. But we're cultivating a lifestyle change here. And when you can get quiet with yourself every single day, then slowly, your body is going to allow you to become more vulnerable with yourself, right. And for vulnerability to happen outwardly, we have to be able to do it with ourselves first talk about you know, if you want to be seen, heard and acknowledged, you have to first see, hear, and acknowledge yourself. So sitting with self for 30 minutes a day, slowly, you're going to start allowing yourself to reflect, actually go back to the instance in the previous day, where you had an emotional reaction that felt strong or intense or overwhelming. And you're at least going to acknowledge that that happened. That's probably the first step, they're just acknowledging that was a lot. Okay, that was a lot. And I'd really like that to go away in the future. And that's the beginning of the journey to start peeling away those layers to understand what contributed to that feeling like a lot. And not only is this a process, but this is also a process where I feel and in my own work that I've done, there's a benefit to having someone else guiding you through this, whether you choose the therapy route, or you choose, you know, to have a coach or, you know, you've got a mentor that you can confide in, in this way, we can, we can eventually see some things through self reflection. But we're still going to have blind spots there. And how that third party can be helpful to us is it's really going to help connect the dots, right? So even in conversation, you know, with someone else, and you're like, Oh, I think I'm onto something here, it's like, you need a professional reading someone training to kind of point out how different variables really contribute to the experience that you're going through.

Stephanie Mara 12:39

Yeah, yeah. What I hear you pointing out here is the difference between kind of self regulation and coregulation. And that when you're first starting this journey, self regulation activities, like slowing down and making time for yourself like journaling, like kind of doing a debrief with yourself. Sometimes what you're feeling may feel confusing or too much, that actually we need some coregulation. And that can be with potentially a person in your life. And outside support can be really helpful to start to also see what feeling coregulated, can be like in your body. So if you've never had anybody in your life, like if your parents had a really hard time maybe being regulated themselves, and so it was really hard being regulated with you that then that knowing what coregulation feels like might feel like a little different and might not know what that is. And so working with someone else, then you get to learn, oh, this, this relaxes my system, this tone of voice, this expression, this is kind of what I'm needing, then you can slowly maybe try an experiment and offer it to yourself on your own. But they're both really important.

Heidi Gruss 13:56

Yeah, I mean, because you need a model, right? It's like I talked about if you if you're blindly throwing darts at the bullseye, right, but you don't even know what the target is, how do you know that you're hitting it or not? Right? So So I think you're right, and in having that model, then you start to realize what may or may not work for you too, right? So it's not to say that that coach or that therapist is their methodology is the only way to go about this. But you may learn something else that that's still another method that's not going to work right and and it's trial by error until we figure it out.

Stephanie Mara 14:35

Yeah, and coming back around to like you were saying, this starts with making space for yourself. And I know you offered like 30 minutes of time, it could even be less than that. If it feels like what shows up is really super intense in your body. And that space, what I'm hearing, is also space that you might start learning what it is that you actually need, like you said, asking your emotion like what it needs. And for a lot of individuals at first, you may actually hear what you think you need. And it may actually take some time to kind of sleuth underneath. Like, the first thing you may hear is I feel uncomfortable, I should just go reach for food. So when you are getting curious about the need, sometimes it takes some time to sit with it and kind of explore it to really get underneath. Okay, what do I think I'm gonna get from food, for example.

Heidi Gruss 15:32

Yeah, those are great self reflective questions to ask. I also find that a lot of times people will inflate what it is that they need. So, you know, you wake up and you're, you're feeling completely burnt out and exhausted. And it's like, I need to take the week off. Okay. What if you just booked yourself off for an hour, you went in an hour or 2 late, you know, and then let's talk about how you're going to spend that time to really guarantee your return on your time. Right. And again, it's by trial, that we start to understand what are the activities that I need in my life that really, you know, keep me in a place of well being. So yeah, I think you're right about leaning in, and understanding, you know, what we think we need. Why, why do we think we need that? What is that really going to give us in the end. I talk about backwards thinking. So I ask my clients to envision what is the ultimate outcome that you want? Right? So if you are waking up feeling completely burnt out, okay? What is it that you want to feel when you wake up? I want to wake up, and I want to feel just ready. I don't need to be overly motivated. I just want to feel like I'm ready to enter the day. Okay. And so what do you think you need to be able to wake up in the morning and feel rested and ready to get out of bed on time and move through your day? Well, I need good sleep. Right? And, you know, I need to know that I've got my things, you know, organized, I even know what is going on in my day, right? Because a lot of times I'm waking up just chasing and putting out fires. Okay. And so what do you need to be able to get a good night's sleep? What is it? I need to be able to go to bed at a decent time. Right? And this is what I'm talking about. It's this, It's this simple, right? It doesn't mean it's easy, but it comes back to these simple questions. What would it take for you to go to bed on time? And what is on time? By 10pm? Okay, and what do you need to be able to do that? I need to get my butt off the couch and walk upstairs and go to bed instead of just staying comfortable on the couch, letting Netflix move to the next show to the next show to the next show. Okay, and what is it going to take for you when your phone goes off at 9:45 and you've got 15 minutes, what is it going to take for you to actually get up off the couch and walk upstairs? You just have to do it. Okay. Can you in that moment, think about how you want to feel tomorrow morning when you wake up? Yeah. Okay. And if you were to think about how you were to feel, alright, I really want to wake up feeling rested, and ready for the day. Do you think that's enough to just get you up and off the couch? Right? And we move through these almost like motivational interviewing conversations with clients to see, you know, what are you willing to do? And what is it really going to take? Because if you want to wake up that way, if it really is that important what are you willing to do to make that happen? Because what you're telling me is, there's nothing major in your way. It's just you needing to do what it is you say you're going to do. So we talk about self integrity. Yeah.

Stephanie Mara 18:55

Yeah. Love it, love it, love it, I share something similar in my work as well. And what it kind of like is, let's say you're going on a vacation. And you have to ask yourself what you need to pack. Like that often feels more natural than asking yourself how you want to feel. Like okay, I need to pack a bathing suit, I need to pack my sunscreen. And you're thinking ahead of okay, what is this trip? And what do I need on this trip to make the trip go as easy as possible? And so it can be a very similar process of okay, what do I want this next day to be like and what needs to occur to facilitate that?

Heidi Gruss 19:36

Right. And that's the way that I give my clients back control where they're feeling out of control, but yet they're trying to control these things that are out of their control. It's like, let's control the controllables. Alright, let me show you what is within your control. And then we can get rid of all the rest because if you do this one thing, and you really are waking up the way you want to wake up and you're ready for your day. You're not thinking about all these things out of your control anymore.

Stephanie Mara 20:05

Yeah. And like we were talking about before, this is such a process and that sometimes inviting in the same curiosity of, oh, I'm sitting here, and I'm letting Netflix do another show. Okay, what's the wisdom here? Like, alright, today, I did not make any space for myself today. And I'm doing it now. And I'm gonna allow myself to do it now. And if I don't want this to potentially happen tomorrow, what might I do differently tomorrow, so that this circumstance doesn't happen again.

Heidi Gruss 20:39

And that's, I actually think it's very difficult for people to ask themselves that question. You know, when you talk about this is a process. It's like, that is the question that I feel most people need someone else to be asking them, it's hard to ask yourself that question. I'm not sure why that is. But people don't typically independently go to that level of self reflection and self responsibility independently. Yeah.

Stephanie Mara 21:10

What I often find is it can bring up so many emotions, you know, asking yourself, What could I do differently, because ultimately, different can feel overwhelming. That means you are taking yourself outside of your comfort zone. And so to not ask yourself, you stay inside your comfort zone, which might feel safe and warm and cozy. Absolutely. It feels good there. And so to not ask yourself, if there's some wisdom there, like I said, before, we do things for a reason. And so if it's, oh, you know what, Okay, I'm going to ask myself, what might I do differently next time? It's also saying, I am actively taking myself outside of my comfort zone, and how can I show my body, that it's safe, within the experience of doing something different. So even the thought of I'm about to do something different tomorrow, our body doesn't know the difference between a real or perceived threat, it feels like you're already there doing the different thing. And so sometimes even practicing it in your head, first of saying, Okay, what might this look like? What might I do, and then kind of oscillate into a sense of safety of like, okay, I'm thinking about turning off the TV an hour earlier, or I'm thinking about not reaching for the food tomorrow, when I normally like to decompress with maybe a particular food, and then show your body that it's safe, even as you're imagining it. It's such a process that I have found within doing something that feels different of showing your body that it's safe, even imagining doing the different thing.

Heidi Gruss 22:53

So you're, you're making me think about what came up for me was the worst case scenario. You know, and so, when, when you were talking about, you know, different, makes people feel uncomfortable. Number one, it was making me think, I think the first reaction I see from clients is this idea of, well, that makes me feel really insecure, because I'm not really sure if I'm to do something differently. There's, there's a lack of confidence in self care. And that's, that is triggered. And when we lack that confidence in whatever it is, we're trying to imagine that's different, we automatically go to worst case scenario. And I think the reason why is it's like we want to feel prepared, that if and when that worst case scenario really happens, that we're ready, you know, that we're not, we're not going to be taken down by trying something different. Obviously, the intention is good, but it doesn't end up serving you because it can often trigger that thought spiral, where then it's paralyzing and you do nothing, you know, different or you just stay in that automated pattern. The worst case scenario though, what I find is when I ask clients like, okay, so what, what really would be the worst case scenario, like, say it out loud, we're almost giggling. And I think that's because of the relationship I have with my clients. But they'll, they'll giggle as they admit, what that worst case scenario outcome would be and saying it out loud, already makes it seem like, probably not going to happen. But in my mind, it feels real. And it does. Releasing it from the mind is such a powerful move. Because in our minds, things always seem much more overwhelming. They also seem more rational than when we see them outside and are allowed. We hear what we're actually thinking and we're then better able to make an assessment here. How likely is this to happen, what facts or what data do I have to support that this is a likely outcome, what past experiences have I had, where this has actually been the outcome? Right? And asking those types of checking questions can be really, really helpful.

Stephanie Mara 25:17

Yeah, what I hear in this is naming it out loud. Sometimes the things that we fear are just these thoughts in the background, just kind of going on and on and on like a tape. And we have to actually name it, maybe write it down, and then read it back to yourself. And you're like, oh, wow, that's what I think is gonna happen. And then you get that perception of Hmm, that seems that seems a little catastrophizing like, I don't actually know if that is really going to happen. Or if it might, could I be okay, in that experience, if that is the thing that will happen?

Heidi Gruss 25:57

Yeah. And the other the other effective tool to I think, is asking people to share what they would tell a loved one in the same circumstance, right? Yesterday, I was having a conversation with a client around self forgiveness, right? And I said, How can you forgive yourself and he, you know, he just got quite a rise out of that. And he's like, I'm always asking my friends that, you know, like, you need to forgive yourself, so you can move on, right? And he's like, I'm having a hard time with this. I'm having a hard time, you know, and the thought of him identifying with being unforgivable wasn't true, either. So we we had to find some safe space there. Yeah.

Stephanie Mara 26:37

Yeah. Sometimes bringing in someone else like thinking of how would and sometimes it's not a parent, sometimes our parents didn't know how to attune or regulate us. And so sometimes it's bringing in either someone you know, or sometimes I might explore, think of movie character, that if you had that movie character a part of your life, what might that character say to you? You know, like if your quintessential mom character is like Mary Poppins, like, Okay, what would Mary Poppins say to you right now? Sometimes we need that externalization because it's hasn't been role modeled to ourselves. So it's really hard to come up with it just on our own.

Heidi Gruss 27:26

Yeah, I never really use parents to be honest, I, you know, I think whether or not there's a a trauma connection there for the client, whether they see their experience as traumatic because trauma connection there for the client, whether they see their experience as traumatic because of emotional neglect, or what have you, parenting models can be problematic for people. And so moving away from the parent figure and really asking the client like, Okay, you you be the parent of you right now, you know, what would you have wanted? Let's figure out a way to give that to yourself, it can be very empowering.

Stephanie Mara 28:01

It makes me think, a little bit of some inner child work of sometimes when you're identifying the emotions that are coming up, you can also get curious about, well, where is this emotion coming from? Like, who inside of me is scared right now, just so that you get to kind of start to use a little bit of visualization, I'm a big fan of visualization and imagery, yeah. And start to even see your inner child, you know, sometimes you can even take an old picture of yourself, and like, put it up as the background of your phone. So that if you need to talk to you your little inner one it's right there available to you, because we often all have our phones on us very often.

Heidi Gruss 28:48

Yeah, it's funny, I think I use the phone wallpaper all the time with my clients. And like you know, you probably look at your phone, your weekly screentime report will tell you, you're spending hours looking at your phone. So it is very effective to have that as sort of a grounding tool or an anchor.

Stephanie Mara 29:06

Yeah, it's something that you said earlier was just offering Oh, these are some questions you can start to ask in these pauses that we're talking about. Because all everything we're talking about right now happens in the slow down and the pause with yourself. So I'm curious what other questions do you often have found are supportive to ask yourself in that pause as you're getting more comfortable tapping and tuning into yourself?

Heidi Gruss 29:32

Yeah. So I think that as the client becomes more comfortable sitting with self, one of the things that we talk about is or what we want to surface is our limiting beliefs or those you know, stories that we're telling ourselves that are coming from a lot of the self talk that will be admitted or you know, some of the the feeling patterns that are coming up once we have a limiting belief or a sort have a negative story or something identified, then my work with the client is to help them rewrite the story. Right? So it might be something around, you know, how they see themselves as people treat me nicer, you know, when I'm a thinner body size, right? And so, you know, that may be a story for them. And so we dissect that a little bit. And it's like, well, how, first of all, how do you want people to treat you period? Right? How do you, how do you want to be perceived? And how do you want your interactions to go? This is a lot of the visualization piece. This is how visualization kind of filters through my program. I want people to move away from what their past experience has been, or even their current experience, and I want them to claim what it is they want to have happen. So when you walk into a room, you know, how do you want to feel when people see you enter? You know, what is it that you want them to feel? What kind of energy do you want to exude? What is your attitude? Like, when you walk over and you start engaging with someone, you know, what is the eye contact lke? What tone of voice are you using? How do you know that they're listening? How do you know that they're interested? Right? So what are they doing to really get that specific around the interaction, and I want them to write it all down. And then from that, we're almost creating like, an alter ego, almost of you know, so that they have this, this target this visual, I will also ask people to think about if they use big terms like well, I want to be confident, okay, well, what is confident look like, you know, for you, right, and they don't have anyone in their world, who does exude the confidence that they're talking about? And I'll say, Well, who do you follow on social media? Or who do you see in the media? Or in magazines? Or, or things? Who do you see that embodies that confidence? And what is it about them, that tells you that they're confident, right? Is it their posture? Is it the way they can laugh easily, or laugh at themselves, or what what is it, and that will go into their description of, you know, this, this visualization that they're ultimately creating, but I want them to capture it all on paper. And now they've got an idea of who it is they're really looking to become.

Stephanie Mara 32:31

You know, what I'm really hearing in all of that is that as you slow down and start to create more of a deeper connection with your emotions, now you can start to imagine more of what you want for your life. So we're coming out of a little bit of fight or flight response. Because to move forward with your life, we can't do that with a sense of threat. So if you feel threatening all the time, just with what you're experiencing, it's slowly moving out of that of okay, my body is safe to be in, these emotions are safe to feel, then you get to start to imagine, okay, what do I want to be creating for this life that I have to be able to start taking those steps towards where you want to go.

Heidi Gruss 33:17

And, you know, I think it's important to remind people too you may not feel 100%, safe in your current feelings before you're starting to identify where it is you want to go, there might be a gap, right? You still may feel insecure, unsafe, overwhelmed, but realizing I really do want to get here. And then we have to figure out together how to get from point A to point B in a really safe way that feels right for the client.

Stephanie Mara 33:50

Yeah, absolutely. That's so important. Just to recognize that you don't have to wait to make a change in your life. It kind of sets up that I'll be happy when, where if you're waiting to always feel kind of regulated until you move forward. You know, that's, that's not the goal, either.

Heidi Gruss 34:12

Right. Change isn't linear, you know, and, and if it were, then we could, you know, progressively build off of every, you know, every step of progress, except that we know, something unexpected is going to happen, at some point challenging our growth. And maybe something unexpected is going to happen, at some point challenging our growth. And maybe there might be a setback. But a setback doesn't mean we're starting over or starting from the beginning. Because now you've got a different set of tools and strategies to move you forward. So you're spending less time in that sort of emotional quagmire, you know, but you're not getting stuck in your emotions, right? So it's really important to feel things we just don't want to get stuck there. Yeah.

Stephanie Mara 34:56

Yeah. The imagery that comes to mind is kind of like a river. You know that saying you can't step in the same river twice. In this process of change, things are going to feel familiar. And that that doesn't mean that you are at square one, it's Oh, something is showing up that feels familiar. And it's okay. What information does that have to provide me with, and you're still moving forward, you're still floating along that river, navigating all the different rocks and things that come along your way.

Heidi Gruss 35:32

And also, when you go through that familiar scenario, right now, at this point, you are able to slow it down for yourself. So you're gonna go through that in a very different process than you previously would have, you're going to notice, it's not just an automatic behavior pattern that's triggered, you're realizing now you're going through something that feels very familiar, but the experience is very different. And you are going to draw a new meaning while you're going through that. And so that's sometimes what it takes, it actually takes continuing to move forward, it takes these little setbacks to happen for you to realize the magnitude of your growth, the magnitude of the transformation, you're not going to see that as you keep moving forward in life with life going smoothly. I say that to normalize when something you know, unexpected or stressful comes up, okay, and what changes did you recognize? And we have to celebrate that, we have to celebrate that progress.

Stephanie Mara 36:35

Yeah, so I'm all about baby steps here on the podcast and I'm curious in this process of being with your emotions, making time for yourself more imagining this life that you want to create for yourself, what's a first baby step that listeners can take to even start this process.

Heidi Gruss 36:52

So I think of this as a baby step, and it's a journal activity that I you know, it really takes about 15 minutes, it starts off with just a short list of gratitude, we develop affirmations in my program. So it's writing out those three to five affirmations. And they're the same affirmations every single day, it is setting an intention for the day. So an intention is not a goal, it's not a task on your to do list. It's really about your attitude, your energy, how you're looking to show up for your day, it is acknowledging some type of celebration, from the last 24 hours of your life, it might be something as simple as getting out of bed on time and not hitting snooze, it could be something really big, you know, initiating a really vulnerable conversation and feeling proud of yourself. But it's critical that we do that because when we're waiting for to celebrate only the big things, those don't happen as often. And so sometimes it feels like this growth path that we're on, we're not really growing because nothing big has happened. Whereas when we take the time to celebrate one step of progress every single day, we're realizing that all those baby steps really do amount to the big wins in the end. And then the fifth component of the workshop, of the daily journal activity, is around rewriting that one story that feels like the most important story for the client to really start moving the needle in the direction where they're looking to go. It's usually two to three sentences. It's nothing major, but it's really to help reinforce that subconscious reprogramming as well.

Stephanie Mara 38:30

Awesome. That's so great. Thanks for sharing that. So I would love for our listeners to learn more about how they can keep in touch with you where they can find you and your work.

Heidi Gruss 38:41

Yeah, so my last name, it rhymes with Seuss. But it's spelled differently. So it's G R. U. S. S, but all of my social handles are Heidi Gruss. So you can always follow me there. We can put some links in the show notes too, if you if you want to. My website is also the same. It's Heidigruss.com. So you can see some of the work that I'm doing with clients and and some free resources that are on there as well so take advantage.

Stephanie Mara 39:11

Wonderful, yeah, I will put all of those links in the show notes. And just thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and your time and your expertise today.

Heidi Gruss 39:19

You're welcome. Thanks for having me. It was great.

Stephanie Mara 39:21

Yeah, well to all the listeners, thanks so much for tuning in. If you have any questions as always reach out anytime and looking forward to connecting with you all soon. Bye!

Keep in touch with Heidi here:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heidigruss/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/heidi.gruss

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/heidigruss/

Website: https://www.heidigruss.com/

Contact: heidigruss@yahoo.com