See A Picture Of Yourself And Judge What You See? Here's What To Do.

As we move forward toward Spring, you may start to see messages increase saying begin now to get into your "bikini body." Let's reframe right now that all that is needed to have a "bikini body" is a bathing suit and a body. That's it. Deeper beneath these messages are an underlying communication that you're body is not good enough as it is right now and needs to be changed before summer comes. This pressure can be perceived by the body as a threat that it needs to start protecting itself. Yet the thing the body is trying to protect itself from IS the body, which can make being in your body an incredibly unsafe place to land in.

Now, your body is primed to constantly be looking out for danger. One of the threats you may come across is seeing a picture of yourself. Let's set the stage. So already you're feeling this pressure all around you that your body is not good enough. There is a timeline that has been created that your body needs to change by X date when you might be in a bathing suit again or at the beach or wearing short sleeves or shorts. All of this pressure and stress is building each day unconsciously, and sometimes consciously, and then BAM! You see a picture someone took of you when you were out with friends or bumped into someone or went to your family's house. The barrage of harsh internal dialogue begins.

It says things like:

"How could you let this happen to yourself?"

"You look awful."

"You need to do something about this now!"

"Everyone else looks so much better than you do."

"Is that really how you look?"

Because of the messages received and internalized that there is only one acceptable body shape, your body processes that image as dangerous to you being able to fit in, belong, and be loved. You're probably already aware of your internal conversation when you see a picture of yourself. You have heard this harsh inner dialogue before and maybe you have taken it as a truth or a fact. Let's begin to see the part of you that says these harsh words about your body is there trying to protect you from what is being perceived as a threat.

From this awareness, I want to offer a different way you can start to respond to yourself when you begin to hear that familiar inner dialogue after looking at a picture of you.

1. Move away from the picture

Your reaction is already letting you know that you're in your sympathetic nervous system, fight or flight response. The part of your brain that sends a distress signal, your amygdala, is doing its work to protect you from a perceived threat. This means that it can be incredibly difficult at that moment to assess that picture any differently than how you're seeing it. You can experience your response to the picture as your body's red flag that it is having a hard time processing what it is seeing and take a step away from the picture. Just like you would quickly move your hand away from something that you realize is very hot, you can have the same response here. Immediately move away from the picture and you can come back to it later.

2. Orient yourself to the present moment

The only thing that has changed is that your body took in one more piece of information that potentially tipped it over into too much to process mode. Your body is exactly the same from the moment before you saw that picture to now. Gently guide your attention back to the present moment. Notice something in your environment you like to look at. This might be an object, a tree outside your window, a certain color. Give yourself a moment to attend to something else that feels relaxing to focus on. This could be putting on specific music, touching something that feels nourishing, smelling a yummy smell. The input of the picture of you activated your system and you get to choose what new input you want to put into your body that supports you in feeling safe in the here and now.

3. Get curious about your inner dialogue

The inner dialogue that began to unfold as soon as you saw that picture is coming from a part of you that has certain beliefs and connections around body shapes. Stepping into curiosity brings a sense of choice into your body that you don't have to believe everything you're thinking. Begin to explore:

• Who is this part of you?

• If they had an age, how old would they be?

• What beliefs do they have about bodies?

• What have they connected to certain body shapes and sizes?

• If this was a younger part of you and you were their parent or teacher or friend, what would you want to teach them?

• What do they need to know now?

What they're saying to you is not a truth or a fact. They were taught to think of bodies this way. To see the picture of you differently can begin by working with internalized messages about bodies so that when you go to look at that picture again you can begin to see a picture of a person in a body and perhaps see the smiles on everyone's faces, and the laughter, and the twinkle in your eyes perhaps enjoying a moment of your life. It will be the same picture but your interpretation, digestion, and assimilation of it will change.

It takes time and practice to re-pattern the way you respond to yourself after seeing a picture of you. Nothing I mentioned was about believing that voice and immediately going on a diet. That is not the answer. A body change does not guarantee body acceptance. Any experiment you go on with your body throughout your life needs to start from a place of respecting your body so no matter how it shifts and changes you know you will stay connected with you.

If you experiment with these different reactions after seeing a picture of you, email me and let me know how it's going and what you discover!