Are You Overexercising? Discover How To Choose The Exercises That Will Regulate Your Body

Welcome to the Satiated Podcast where we explore physical and emotional hunger, satiation, and healing your relationship with your food and body. I'm your host Stephanie Mara Fox, your Somatic Nutritional Counselor. One piece of my healing journey I have talked little about was having to heal my relationship with physical movement. As a kid, you couldn't get me to move. My mom tried to put me in dance and gymnastics and while I enjoyed both, neither stuck. I tried soccer and tennis. In soccer, I ended up kicking the ball to my best friend who was on the other team. In tennis, my favorite part was walking through the tunnels at the back of the indoor court. The joy of moving started to come in when I got into musical theater and had to dance my way through shows. And then, in college, I was required to take two gym credits and was told by a friend that the easiest class to take was weight training. My time at the gym had previously been walking on treadmills and using ellipticals and barely touching a weight. So now I was thrown into the world of weight lifting and the teacher gave no guidance on how to nourish one's body while suddenly having an increase in physical movement. Now, I was dieting, undereating, and overexercising which led to complete disaster for my body. I remember my muscles twitching and feeling so tired I could barely walk up a flight of stairs and completely confused as to what was going on. It was seeing my first on campus nutritionist that changed everything and where I started to see food in a brand new light. Previously, all I knew was what I had learned from Weight Watchers at 15 years old and diets don't teach you about what your body nutritionally needs. They do not teach how to be an eater. Now with food on my side, my love of yoga and weight lifting was able to grow. Over the years, through learning about somatics, physical movement took on a different lens of how it could also support with processing trauma. So when I came across Stephanie Roth-Golberg's work, I had to have her come on the podcast. Stephanie is a psychotherapist specializing in eating disorders. She has a group practice in both NYC and NJ where her and her team help folks who are struggling in their relationship with food and their bodies. Stephanie has a particular interest and specialty in working with athletes and the intersection with eating disorders. Today, we explore the difference between physical movement and exercise, how to assess what movement is going to be the most regulating and aligned movement to do based on where you're at in your food and body healing journey, and how physical movement can also help heal from a trauma response held in your body. You're going to love today's conversation and if you've been enjoying the Satiated podcast, as a reminder, you can join Satiated+ to support the show and donate $3.00, $5.00, $8.00, or $10.00 monthly by clicking on the link here. Once 20 people have joined Satiated+ I will start hosting live Q&A's to the Satiated+ community. And, if this isn't feasible financially at this time, I completely understand and feel free to leave the podcast a review to guide others in finding the Satiated podcast. Now, welcome Stephanie! I am thrilled to dive in with you today around just this connection between you know, I think we focus a lot on the podcast on healing relationship with food, but I find there is a similar journey for a lot of individuals around healing their relationship with physical movement. And I know that a lot of what you focus on is working with athletes. And would love to hear a little bit more of your backstory and how you got into this work.

Stephanie Roth-Goldberg 04:19

Yeah, I think you're right. A lot of people talk a lot about food and leave physical movement for later, which I think is a really complicated way to do things. So, you know, I've been in the eating disorder field for a very long time. And I have also been an endurance athlete for a very long time. And I was training for several years in the like, mid like early to mid 2000s and I kept getting injured and I was like what is happening? I keep getting injured and I mean, I just for purposes of writing something about this, looked and I had had nine stress fractures in the course of like two years or three years and I really thought that I was eating eat healthfully, I really thought that I was like doing what I was supposed to be doing. And it turns out that I was under fueling. And it turns out that I wasn't appropriately fueling for the level of activity. And I was getting all of this misinformation around what I needed to be fast, quote, unquote, but also just what I needed for my body. And I worked with a specialist, and really learned more about that, and then continued my passion for endurance sports, and continued my practice of working with eating disorders. And I started saying, you know, like, there's not enough information out there about this, there's not enough awareness around this, there's, at that time, none of the treatment centers were even allowing movement, let alone exercise. And being in New York City and an endurance athlete, you get to meet all sorts of people, great people, and I would train and go on six hour bike rides with doctors, and we'd start talking about it. And then I began educating myself more and then I had been pretty early adapter of intuitive eating. And so then I did some supervisions, with Evelyn, one of the founders of intuitive eating around, like, how do you marry these two things? What do you do? How did these things connect? And that was really my journey. And I had one injury in the last almost decade. And that was while I was still breastfeeding, and didn't realize that my bones needed different, you know that your bones aren't totally healed while you're breastfeeding and they're not as staple at other times. But, it's like that it's barely on my radar anymore, unless I'm talking with clients. So it has been really freeing, and it's totally what I'm passionate about.

Stephanie Mara 06:41

Yeah, thanks for sharing that. I really appreciate you bringing this in of it's just not talked about as much. I have always had a passion for physical movement. But it got to the point when I was healing my own relationship with my food and my body that I was also kind of over exercising and under fueling myself and had no idea what I was doing, like, quote unquote, wrong, and it was just, I got these messages from one community, just keep pushing your body physically. And then this other message from the other community that's like, oh, you need to you need to stop moving, you need to take a break. And it's really confusing. I remember taking a really long break from physical movement. But actually, there was so much trauma in my body, that the physical movement was helping me move that through constantly. But when I took a break, in another realm, things got a lot worse. And so when I got to a place of like, you know, I just need to trust my body in movement, and listen to it, you know, that's when my relationship with physical movement really got to find a very different place. But, I see you nodding...

Stephanie Roth-Goldberg 07:52

Yes, I know, no one else can see me.

Stephanie Mara 07:55

Like really resonating with this. It's really confusing. And now the people that I work with are also very confused about how to integrate physical movement into their lives as well.

Stephanie Roth-Goldberg 08:05

Which makes sense, I think there's like, you're saying there's really two camps. And that middle ground is hard. And I also think it's so individualized that you know, you can't go on Instagram and find your answer. And you can't necessarily, you know, like, there's a lot of self discovery to figuring out what you as a person need in terms of exercise or movements, or all of those things along your journey in which you're healing with food too.

Stephanie Mara 08:31

Yeah. So when you're starting to work with individuals in healing their relationship with physical movement, what have you found with all of the people that you talk to and integrating this work, what have you found really supportive to start to explore in one's relationship with physical movement?

Stephanie Roth-Goldberg 08:50

Yeah, you know, it's difficult in some ways, because even as you were talking about taking a break, some people really need a long break to discover if that's even what they enjoy anymore, right? Some people have just been on the train of over exercising, and that has defined them. And I think one of the things that's really helpful is to recognize that, you know, we're all multifaceted and this being the fit person or being the whatever, you know, cyclist or runner, rock climber, like doesn't have to be who you are. And so I think one of the very first things that I do with folks is like, work through some identity stuff of you know, who else are you and why does that feel like such a big piece of your pie, so to speak, and that helps people really identify and work through like, oh, yeah, what else do I even like, right? Like this has taken such a life of its own. And sometimes it's the only thing that people can feel proud of, which is a bit of a trap also, because not every workout or not every whatever yoga class are you going to get into the same pose and particularly with endurance athletes, not every race is gonna go well. And so it's also really recognizing how that came to be. How did it come to be that all, you know, like, we are externalizing all of our confidence to this thing that for most people is not their job, is not what actually they need to be doing in life. So I think that's always step one for me, is the identity.

Stephanie Mara 10:22

Yeah, I love that. It makes me think of when individuals, you know, eat a certain way, suddenly, like, you know, veganism becomes their identity. Instead of just like, well, this is a particular way you can choose to eat, you can also choose to eat in a different way. And I hear something similar in that of, I've heard this from some of the individuals I've worked with around physical movement, of they identify like, I am a runner. Like, if I don't run in the morning, who am I? And what do I do with that time?

Stephanie Roth-Goldberg 10:53

Right. Yeah. And I think that's the other piece of it is how flexible can someone be. And I think to heal our relationship with physical movement or exercise, however, we want to name it, flexibility has to be in there that idea, like you're saying, like, if you didn't go for a run in the morning, you're still the same person you were yesterday when that did happen. And why is that so hard? Because the same way that you're saying, you know, physical movement can help you work out some of the emotions and some of the things in your body, if that's the only way that we can sort of work through our emotions, that's problematic also, because it becomes something that we are then reliant on.

Stephanie Mara 11:33

Yeah, yeah, totally agree with that, I want to come back to the point that you made around sometimes taking a break is really important, especially for those, and I was absolutely there as well, who maybe you are utilizing physical movement, and I say physical movement instead of exercise only because I know that there's so much wrapped up with the word exercise. And I have enjoyed kind of reclaiming just okay, your body loves being in movement so can we just, you know, whatever movement that is, even if it was formerly called exercise, like lifting weights, or going for a run, we would think of that as exercise, it's just like, is that the physical movement that resonates with you today? And, and coming back to, yeah, that if you are someone who has been utilizing physical movement as a way to work through your emotions, that break might actually be really important to start to learn how to be with your emotions and with your body in different ways.

Stephanie Roth-Goldberg 12:33

Totally, I will say I am I think I'm a minority here that I think it's really important to distinguish, actually, between movement and exercise. And I think there's a big difference. Because even if you were taking a break from exercise, and you have a dog, you need to walk that dog, and we could utilize the movement of walking your dog in a really positive way and do some sort of exploration around how do you feel on a longer work versus a shorter walk. And that's very different than saying you're gonna go to a spin class, for 45 minutes, it's a defined amount of time, there is structure involved, and that is exercise. Or you can define it as you know, sort of, quote, unquote, training if you need, you know, if exercise isn't the right word, but I think it's really important. Because when people need a full break from exercise, movement is key. You can still stretch, you can still be in your body in ways that feel good, that are not structured, that can happen spontaneously, you can sweep your kitchen and use like that time to dance, you know, it doesn't have to be structured, but exercise. So I think it's really important to distinguish between the two.

Stephanie Mara 13:43

I love that. I am actually completely on the same page with you. Yeah, when you are saying, okay, I've been pushing my body too much, my body is giving me the messages, and this might be exhaustion, you have sleep disruption, you know, your muscles might be shaking, you're having a lot of injuries, that your body is sending you the message this is too much for me right now. And I find that exactly what you're talking about there's this fear of well then do I just need to sit around and do nothing? No! Yeah, the gentle stretching the walking, the really tuning into your body and saying, like, what physical movement actually is going to feel most respectful and resonate with my body today. And I love that distinction of it doesn't have to be this constrained, timed thing. That it's like, well, right now, in this moment, it wants to jump up and down five times, and that's it.

Stephanie Roth-Goldberg 14:40

Right. Exactly. Yeah. And I think that's important. Like when people are thinking about what they need, because, you know, movement can just be I'm gonna go outside and get some fresh air and like, walk around the block or exactly, it can just be doing, you know, a few jumping jacks in your office.

Stephanie Mara 14:57

Yeah. So let's say someone's listening to this, and actually, they have taken that long break, and they're wanting to get back into moving their body more specific exercises, what have you found is supportive to ease someone back in to moving their body in more rigorous ways?

Stephanie Roth-Goldberg 15:18

Yeah, you know, one thing I'll say before I sort of answer your question is that I think similar to healing one's relationship with food, there is this misconception that even though used to over exercise that on day one, if you've taken a real, quote, unquote, like real, but a break, where you have done the work to figure out what you need, it is really unlikely that you're then going to go to the gym and sit on the elliptical for three hours after, again, whatever that break is, it could be a month, it could be a year. So in some ways, one of the things that I think is really helpful is exploring with someone like, what do you want this to look like? What will feel good? And how do you monitor what feels okay in your body, because again, if you've taken a break, it's not going to feel good to go in and do even 45 minutes of something. Like you might need 10 minutes, you might need 20 minutes of something, and you have to be present enough in your body to recognize, okay, I'm feeling a little taxed, I don't even have to make a judgment about that. But if I want a long term relationship with this kind of exercise, or this kind of movement, I have to be the one to say, my body feels okay right now with this 10 minutes. And maybe in two days, I'll do 12 or 15 minutes, maybe I'll stick with 10 for a week. So I usually have people do a self check in intention setting ahead of time, and a sort of review afterwards. Sometimes people will just even like do a note on their phone that they then share with me. So it's somewhat is an accountability thing. And it's a lot easier to remember to almost like, put it on your phone than to write in a journal. However, if you have the time to write in a journal, that's better. And the other thing I do with folks a lot is I make a sort of what I call like a traffic light system. So what would be green, what feels safe, what doesn't feel triggering to you? What are you doing that feels good, that you don't have all of these conceptions, what you should be doing around. A yellow light might be, I'm going to explore this, I'm kind of feeling iffy about whether this is a good idea or not. So let me like, slowly ease into it. And a red light would be okay, I used to be, this was a client of mine, like I used to always win the orange theory exercises and I used to always be the best one in there. And I know if I walk in that room, I'm going to feel so determined to do that. And that is not where my body is at right now. And that's not mentally good for me. So that's like a red light, we're not gonna go there. And I think that's helpful too, for people to realize, like, okay, I can do a lot of things. And some things maybe are not the best for me.

Stephanie Mara 17:51

I appreciate that suggestion, because it really starts to assess your relationship with different kinds of exercises and physical movements to bring the body into the conversation of it's not like this is good, or this is bad. It's okay, what feels safe to my system at this point in time where I'm at, what feels playful, that feels a little edgy, but I can get into that. And then one's just like, not there yet, that doesn't feel safe to go back there or go there for the first time.

Stephanie Roth-Goldberg 18:24

Right. Yeah, yeah. And I think it's something you know, it's nice to also think about like a traffic light, like changes. So you can reevaluate it in a month, say like, oh, I'm gonna move this thing from yellow, maybe I'm moving it to red, maybe I'm moving it down to like things that I should put in my regular rotation because I really enjoyed that.

Stephanie Mara 18:41

Yeah. And I find that when you are getting into physical movement, we get some messages from like, fitness culture of then food becomes the thing to like, it's just fuel, you just need to fuel your body. And I'm wondering how you've navigated that of as someone is getting back into or getting into maybe for the first time exercises and physical movements, you know, how they continue to heal their relationship with food, and not just seeing it as like, I need to perfectly fuel my body to do this.

Stephanie Roth-Goldberg 19:16

Yep, which is so nuanced, because sometimes people actually really do need to fuel their body, literally, like almost literally right to do the thing. But if someone's just getting into it, we kind of can go back to that same idea of in reality, if you're just doing something for the first time, you should be eating enough to experiment with that. Your body should be able to add in something small that doesn't need an extra fuel source. And then if you're really in a place where you're eating intuitively, you might notice you're hungrier afterwards and you take care of that need. If you are doing something like a hour long yoga or pilates kind of class, you might need to eat something a little extra for that to make sure your blood sugar stays, you know, stable, and I think it's okay to talk about that and to say, you know, we could label it fuel. But we could also just think about that, food is our energy source the same way, if I was getting in the car, and I have an electric car, like my battery was 50%, but it's far, I know I better charge it because I don't want to have to stop halfway. And I don't want to be stuck, you know, in a panic or just stuck on the side of the road. So I think it's okay to sometimes think about our bodies like that, because that is true. And it doesn't have to be so concrete, like, eat, I don't know, a banana with almond butter before you do this and that's the only thing like, I think there's flexibility around what we can eat. And that's helpful in that realm, too.

Stephanie Mara 20:43

Yeah. When you were going through your period of time, where you were having all of those injuries, what did you ultimately discover that nutritionally was really important for someone who's maybe listening to this and it's like, yeah, I'd actually really like to move my body more and I want to support it in the extra physical movement that is maybe coming into my day.

Stephanie Roth-Goldberg 21:05

Yeah, I mean, one of the things for me, at the time, I wasn't eating gluten, which I thought, you know, a doctor had told me I had an allergy. So one of the things for me at that time was finding quick carb sources that were truly quick carb sources, because on a gluten free diet, that can be hard. There were two other big things. One was eating enough during exercise. And again, like, in my situation, I was doing really long endurance events. And so what I thought I needed, and again, like what people said, like every 45 minutes, and I would set a timer and be like, every 45 minutes, I need this thing. And I'm actually someone who, if I'm not taking in something at every 30 minutes, I don't feel that well, I'm not performing as well, my body gets tired. So it was really looking at and working with dieticians and be like, okay, individually, let's do some work around this. And it was adding more carbs, even though I thought I was eating enough carbs, I was not eating enough carbs. And it's so funny how it's kind of like, pretty basic. But it was these things like our perception around what is enough, or what is too much is so skewed, because our culture tells us you know, like carbs are bad, for example, or you need fat, but you don't need too much fat. And there's actually a fair amount of research around this, like how people really have misconceptions around how much they're eating, or how much you know what their body looks like, or what they weigh. And it's, it's so influenced by our culture. So truly, it was like working with a personal dietician, and really figuring out my own needs. But I needed to take some time off too, because my body really needed to rest a bit because I was in a cycle of just like, being at that energy deficit constantly.

Stephanie Mara 22:49

I love that you started with more carbs! Because it's always about protein, protein, protein, protein, you got to get more protein, as women age, you got to eat more protein. And all of these messages that I feel like are really rampant right now in the nutritional world is this, like all this focus on protein, and so that I love that you're bringing in that carbs are so important. And you know, especially with keto getting so popular, additionally, even before we had, you know, cuz like Atkins before that, and all that, like carbs have gotten such a bad name for them now, and carbs are so important.

Stephanie Roth-Goldberg 23:29

They are and I will say, you know, I think about intuitive eating, I read about intuitive eating, I teach about eating disorders. And even last year, I was training for a marathon. And I kept saying, I'm so tired, what is happening, and I called a good friend of mine who's a fantastic dietician, and she was like, give me three days of what you're eating and let's figure it out. And again, the answer was like, I know you think you're eating enough carbs, but you're not like, okay, whatever you're eating for lunch, put it on a sandwich, put it in a pita, like add, even if there's quinoa in your salad, it is not enough. And so even you know years and years later where I really feel like I'm fueling my body I can pay attention to my body though and go like what's happening? I'm getting enough sleep, drinking enough water, but yes, you're right. It is always about like protein protein. Personally, I do a good job with protein because I do feel very tired if I don't eat enough of it. It's one of those like instant feedback loops for for me personally.

Stephanie Mara 24:23

Yeah, it's all important. And I appreciate that you started with really check out is your carb intake enough, especially if you're going to start to get into more of this rigorous movement. Because, you know, if you want to use the word fuel, you know, you want to basically give your body enough energy to get through the physical movement you want to do and not feel like you're completely depleting yourself where you're just knocked out for the rest of the day.

Stephanie Roth-Goldberg 24:55

Right. Right. And the intuitive piece comes in here in in being able to recognize your body's signals, whether that's immediate feelings of fatigue, or an hour later or later in the day, like, I think that's where Intuitive Eating sometimes comes in, when you might be eating more than you feel like you want physically, but your body is likely telling you you need it in that way.

Stephanie Mara 25:20

Yeah, that discomfort, especially when you've been healing your relationship with maybe your physical appearance, and also your relationship with food, that when you're starting to bring in, like more rigorous, intense physical movement, yeah, there's this, and I have found this a lot with those I work with, there's this uncomfortable place at first of I'm eating more than I've told myself, I should eat. And kind of getting over that hump or period of time, where it's, you know what? This is uncomfortable. Like, just name it. This is uncomfortable. I am eating more than I have told myself in the past that I quote unquote, should eat. And my body is also giving me the signal that this is the amount of food that it needs to continue to do the physical movement that's also maybe serving you in different ways.

Stephanie Roth-Goldberg 26:13

Right. I think also, like the idea of gentle nutrition comes in here too to like your point about healing, like the thoughts, and then also recognizing, oh, I might not know everything, even though I think I know everything. I do need to look to some gentle nutrition and probably get some guidance from someone.

Stephanie Mara 26:29

Yeah, yeah. Now, you also, just to switch gears for a second, put out something recently on how physical movement can actually support with healing trauma. And I'd love to hear a little bit more around your perspective on that.

Stephanie Roth-Goldberg 26:48

Yeah, I actually wrote a paper about this in a psychoanalytic journal, because I think it's also something that's not spoken enough about that, you know, particularly women, and I'm sure there's lots to be said about men, but I'm going to specifically speak about women right now, we have generally a lot of bodily trauma in our histories. There's some people who don't, but we know statistically that the majority of American women do. And there's things that have happened to us, or there's ways in which we have been taught to think and feel about our bodies that can cause a lot of trauma, or you know, even how we think we can use our bodies. And there is something magical that happens when you can prove to yourself that you as a person, you as a physical being can do more than you thought and standing in one's own strength is so healing and it heals our thoughts about our body sometimes, right, like body image can be really a struggle, and if we can zoom out and think about like, but how do I feel, and actually, I feel good, because I'm doing something that feels good. And I'm doing something that I mentally have to commit to is also important, this idea that I have a say here, I also think that structure can be really important and healing one's relationships with like how we feel about ourselves. And so oftentimes, if you're going to step into some kind of empowered place with your body, it requires a little bit of dedication to I'm going to work on this not from an aesthetic standpoint, but from like, I want to see what I can physically do. And again, and not neglecting how much mental energy it takes to do you know, even if you are lifting two pounds, and you want to lift 10 pounds, that's a journey you're gonna have to go on. And it's exciting to watch and say, oh, look like I was always told this XYZ about my body, or I always thought XYZ about my body and that's not actually true. There's something magical that happens when people feel power in their bodies, that translates into a little more confidence, the ability to perhaps speak a little louder in a room. It's like, oh, I don't have to be the wallflower. I don't have to disappear. I don't have to be invincible. And I think that's really something that also doesn't get spoken enough about. There's a great book, Lifting Heavy Things. Yeah, Lifting Heavy Things, that it's all about movement and trauma and how it's specifically about strength training, and it's fantastic. And about the link of working on your trauma and being able to express even to yourself, like that doesn't feel good and I'm going to stop because if I can do that with myself, I'm going to have an easier time doing it with someone else. In that book, there's a moment where the author is talking to the her personal trainer, I think, and has to say like, this doesn't feel right and recognizes later, like, wow, I was able to say that and that is something that I had previously had a hard time saying so I think it helps us in all these ways that might not seem directly linked that are directly linked.

Stephanie Roth-Goldberg 29:48

Yeah. And I think about it as you're talking sort of that's some of the rewiring that's required in our brains after trauma, right, is this idea of like, I actually can hear my body and I can learn to connect to it rather than dissociate from it. You know, as you're talking about, I'm thinking like, the way that we rewire our brains is by consistency and repetition. And so the more that we can say, like, yeah, I'm going to rest, I'm being told I need to rest, as opposed to overriding that feeling, which, if you override it enough times, you just become dissociated from it.

Stephanie Mara 29:48

I noticed that myself just like just like beaming in my body hearing about all of this. Because yes, I completely agree with this. And I'll put that book in the show notes for individuals to check out as well, that there's something about like challenging your body in a new and different way that puts that sense of empowerment and choice back in yourself. And I talk a lot here about how important when you're healing from past trauma, the experience of choice is because what trauma did is it took away your sense of choice. And to say, today, I want to like push myself with this physical movement in this way, or today, my body is actually telling me, no, it doesn't have the capacity for that today, and being able to listen to that and follow that is such a healing experience to say, oh, wow, I can listen to my body. And it's talking to me, and I can respond to it. And I can make my own decisions.

Stephanie Mara 31:17

Yeah, it makes me think of, this was like over a decade ago at this point, I was working with a personal trainer at the time, and we decided to make a goal of like being able to stand up on a physio ball, which is like, actually quite hard. I don't even think I could do it today at all. But we worked towards that. And I remember the first time that I actually was able, like, my legs were shaking like crazy, just like standing up on this physio ball. And it was just I was beaming the rest of the day, I was totally elated, like, look what my body could do. Look what I've worked on for months now to try to do this new thing with my body. And just this experience of capability. Yeah, I find that that's what you know, I've always been a big proponent of, you know, play with your body, find new physical movements, lift weights, you know, check out new things that you haven't done before, because, yeah, it gives you this different kind of relationship with your body, that it's not just about how it looks.

Stephanie Roth-Goldberg 32:22

Yeah, it's interesting as you were talking about the physio ball too, that is so hard, and it's such a good example of how much focus you need and how much internal sort of like, you have to be in tune. These might not be the right cues, but like, are my shoulders straight? Are my hips in line? Or like, am I turning somewhere that's making me you know, like, and really, that idea of being so focused inside your body is also so helpful. And then it's shocking when it all connects like it's awesome.

Stephanie Mara 32:50

Yeah, yeah, my husband and I actually just got into indoor rock climbing. So what you're describing, I'm like, that is exactly what I am feeling in my body now where you can't be anywhere else, you have to be in your body focused in the moment, because you're not on the ground, you have to be inside of your body. Now, for those who are listening are like, I don't think rock climbing is my thing, I totally get that. But I think that with just any kind of exercise or physical movement that's also brand new, it is such an embodied act. Just I have to just be here with myself and not worry about all the things that maybe I typically worry about in my day.

Stephanie Roth-Goldberg 33:35

Right. And you're also forced to have no electronics at that point, right? Like you're not on a rock wall, checking your phone, which is in itself really, really healing and important.

Stephanie Mara 33:45

Yeah, it just gives this break from everything, you know, from social media, from being on your phone from even sometimes talking to other people. Even if you're feeling like overstimulated, it gives you a singular focus of like, I'm just gonna focus on this one thing.

Stephanie Roth-Goldberg 34:03

And, I can make that thing me, which I think is also something we don't allow ourselves to do that often.

Stephanie Mara 34:09

Yeah, yeah. Well, I am just like, so appreciate your work and all the wisdom that you're sharing here. I usually like to bring in some kind of baby step that individuals can explore for themselves that if they're just getting started on this path of bringing in more physical movement, more exercise, whatever you want to call it, whatever words resonate with you for those who are listening, and I'm wondering what baby step someone could start to take. I love the you know, the lights, green light, yellow light, red light, so someone can kind of play with that exercise. I'm curious what else is a baby step you would potentially suggest?

Stephanie Roth-Goldberg 34:50

One of the things I love to ask people to do is think about movement or exercise that they haven't previously allowed themselves to do because of one reason or another and write it down. Like maybe I wouldn't go to a dance class because I'm not coordinated. That would be me, by the way, totally uncoordinated. But maybe I really want to do that. And so I'm going to write that on a list of things that I want to explore that I have previously counted myself out of, and then see if you can, either if it's helpful to you find a buddy to do that thing with and allow yourself the idea of like, oh, I wanted to do this, because I knew I would like it, or, okay, I've done that and I decided it's actually not for me, but I allowed myself to play with the idea that like, whatever I've previously thought of as exercise, or as physical movement, like, it doesn't have to be that. And I can have different and novel experiences. But I think it really starts with something as simple as making a list of things of like, what do I think sounds fun, like rock climbing is an awesome, really fun thing to do. And it can be really social, which is cool, right? Like, and then it gives you this idea of like, oh, let me see where there's a rock climbing gym near me like, and it creates a whole experience that isn't just, I want to change my body. So I'm gonna, I always like to use the elliptical because I personally hate the elliptical, and like, so I'm gonna go sit on this machine for an hour, but like, oh, this has so many things about it that I want to experience. So that would be my baby step.

Stephanie Mara 36:21

I really appreciate that suggestion. It's kind of starting to get curious about what are the internal dialogues that show up that has stopped you from doing something that maybe you might think sounds fun, or you would be really interested in, but there's that like, oh, yeah, I'm not coordinated or I'm afraid of how I look, or I'm afraid of, like other people looking at me while I'm doing this thing. And, you know, maybe body image concerns. And just kind of sitting with like, oh, wow, okay, so fear is here. And that's the thing that has stopped me so far. And I always kind of like to normalize, like, bring fear along with you. Do the thing. And you don't have to wait until you don't feel scared. It's like, okay, I'm gonna do this thing and fear is going to be right there with me.

Stephanie Roth-Goldberg 37:09

Yeah. And then, what would be helpful in this fear that I have, like, maybe it would be bringing a friend, maybe it would be seeing if there's a beginner class of this thing or something. But I also think like, yeah, bring it with you and see what it needs.

Stephanie Mara 37:22

Yeah, really appreciate that addition of, you don't have to do it alone. You know, if there's some class, some thing that you want to check out, you know, bring your significant other, ask a friend, ask someone to say, hey, would you go check this out with me? Because that coregulation piece of just okay, I have my person that helps me feel safe and seen, along with doing something that may feel like a little bit dysregulating just because it's new.

Stephanie Roth-Goldberg 37:49

Right. Yes. Yeah.

Stephanie Mara 37:51

Yeah. Well, how can individuals keep in touch with you and the work that you're doing in the world?

Stephanie Roth-Goldberg 37:57

Yeah, I think the best way is probably on Instagram @embodiedpsychotherapist, and then I have a link there that links to my website, and you can email me from there. I think that's probably the easiest if you are in New Jersey or New York, I have a practice. You can check out my website. One of them is springpsychotherapyandwellness.com. And the other is intuitivepsychotherapynyc.com. Yeah.

Stephanie Mara 38:21

Awesome. Well, I am so excited for the work that you are bringing into this field is really, really important. And I agree with you there is a gap. And so just thank you so much for sharing everything that you did today.

Stephanie Roth-Goldberg 38:34

Oh thank you for saying that. Thank you.

Stephanie Mara 38:36

Yeah, and to those who are listening, as always, if you have any questions, reach out anytime, and I look forward to connecting with you all next week. Bye!

Keep in touch with Stephanie here:

Websites: www.springpsychotherapyandwellness.com
www.intuitivepsychotherapynyc.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/embodiedpsychotherapist/

Recommended Book: Lifting Heavy Things by Laura Khoudari