What Part of You Emotionally Eats?

We have many different parts of us. These inner parts of us all feel as though they are serving us in some way. When in relationship with food, it can be supportive to get curious about who's choosing your food, who's doing the eating, what is that part of you desiring to receive from food, where do they live in your body, and what does it feel like when they show up.

Dr. Arielle Schwartz explains that:

"Within parts work therapy, you achieve trauma resolution by recognizing disowned parts and giving these parts a voice. The goal is to help you develop an embodied sense of self that can compassionately hold your emotions, vulnerable sensations, and young parts of self.”

In Internal Family Systems, 3 inner parts are identified. They are managers, exiles, and firefighters.

Managers are in charge of keeping your system feeling safe. Examples of managers can be your inner perfectionist, your inner people-pleaser, your inner critic, your inner overachiever.

Exiles are the young parts of you that feel vulnerable and hurt. They are the parts of you that feel unlovable, unworthy, of not enough, of being too much. They are usually the parts of you that have been sent away to protect you from the intensity of their emotions.

Firefighters are the part of you that take immediate action to protect you when exiles are activated. Firefighters are there to redirect your attention and soothe you. This can be through choosing food when the pain of your exiled parts feels too much to navigate.

I love exploring parts work when it comes to choosing food to emotionally self soothe. It can support with decreasing judgment and shame and guilt. By identifying who is choosing a particular food and doing the eating, you can then offer yourself so much compassion and empathy that you're not doing anything wrong or bad. There's a part of you choosing this food because it's trying to protect you in some way.

To identify the part of you showing up and choosing your food…

that will mean that a pause needs to be practiced. Sometimes this pause might occur before the eating begins, sometimes it might happen in the middle, and sometimes it might happen after the eating is over. It's never too late to check in with yourself. Every time you practice pausing and checking in, you cultivate a new relationship with yourself that you will not self abandon you and your parts anymore.

So when you feel the urge to reach for food when you're not physically hungry, pause and start to get curious. Close your eyes and ask yourself who is wanting this food right now? Where do they live in your body? Do you notice more intense sensations in your chest or your belly or your throat? What is this part of you trying to protect you from? How are they feeling? What are they scared of? If they had an age, how old would they be? Does it feel young like an inner child or slightly older like a rebellious inner teenager?

Change starts with cultivating awareness.

You might have a question arise of, alright so you have awareness now of what part of you is present, then what? Just be with them. When a friend, a loved one, a family member is struggling, all they often need is your presence, compassion, and listening ear. That is all this part of you needs. They just want to feel heard, seen, and held by you. Presence can be regulating and safety producing. You will be regulating your nervous system and supporting yourself in feeling calm by offering this part of you empathy and the desire to reach for food to self soothe may decrease with intensity.

This also means this practice is not a one and done. Your parts of you will need your attention again and again and again. Some parts of you may get your attention by telling you to reach for a certain food. So this is not about never having a craving or a food urge ever again. This practice is about slowing down and tuning in every time your cravings and food urges increase with intensity to utilize that as an opportunity to cultivate a deeper connection with you and your parts.