Stop Trying To Love Your Body. Do This Instead.

Body hate is rampant all over the world. We judge our bodies, pick on them, tell them they should be different, underfeed them, and overexercise them. The messages we have received for a long time have been that we need to love our bodies and appreciate them to thrive in our lives. If this strategy worked though, would we still be talking about how much we dislike our body shape?

You might even feel frustrated. You have been trying to love your body as it is for yearssss and yet there is still this small voice inside that tells you that this is not a body you can love. Many coaches, counselors, and therapists are often focusing on the end result without exploring what are the steps an individual needs to take to work toward body love.

So first, I want you to stop trying to love your body.

Take that responsibility off your plate just for now. You have tried every strategy out there and it isn't happening. If it were, again, it would have happened by now. First, you're going to practice accepting that you have a body. This body has wants and needs. This body needs to be fed to be alive and needs to move to thrive. It needs sleep to maintain its energy and it needs to connect with other bodies.

This is where the journey begins.

By accepting that you simply have a body, we step out of stories around what this body "should" look like and we can attune more to what this body needs. We're also going to embrace that the part of you hating on your body isn't going to go away right now. It came into your life at a time when you needed them and talks to you in this harsh way as it is still trying to get your attention. Instead of seeing this part of you as the enemy, let's get curious about who they are. When was the first time you judged your body or your body was judged by someone else? How old were you at this time of your life?

This younger part of you is wanting your attention. Maybe what was role modeled to them was that they only got attention when they were being judged or ridiculed. Maybe they only got attention when something was wrong. So you continuing to dislike your body is the way this part of you gets your attention that they desire. Are you starting to see why jumping 20 steps ahead and trying to love your body isn't going to happen right now? It is like taking the baby blanket away from this part of you and that is not something they are ready to do because it is the only way they know how to get your attention.

As you practice accepting that you have a body, you get to notice every time that part of you speaks up picking on your body.

This is your younger you needing something from you.

You can let them know that you hear them and you are here for them. You will have to tell them this over and over and over again so that they can start to trust that you will not abandon them. If this part of you has been trying to get your attention for 20, 30, 40, 50 years of your life, it is going to take some time to re-build trust with this younger you. The more you slow down and acknowledge this part of you for their bravery, their heart, their compassion, and their resilience the less time you will spend in body hate where you may find yourself moving into body appreciation and body love over a long period of time that may take years. More trust within yourself can translate to more trust in your body, which can create a solid foundation to build a new loving relationship with your body.

Slowing down and talking with this younger part of you every day can guide you toward the moments where you did not feel seen, heard, and understood. A focus on the body often came in to navigate these painful moments with more ease. We may have not felt in control of the way others perceived us so we went to the one place we felt that we could be in control, which is of our own body. The thing is that we are not in control of our body. We can support it. We can listen to it. We can be guided by it. But, we are not in control of it. Accepting you have a body can also mean coming to terms with the responsibilities you have put on your body that it cannot meet. In the process of accepting your body, you may grieve for the things it cannot do and for the desires it cannot meet. Processing that grief will be one step on this body love journey toward appreciating what your body CAN do and how incredible it is just as it is.

This healing path can take lots and lots of time.

Take all the time you need. You also don't have to navigate this journey alone. As a reminder, you can join my private Facebook Group called Satiated: A Hunger Healing Community. And, if you're wanting more one on one support, book a free 20 minute Connect Call with me today and let's chat about what is coming up for you on your unique body love journey.