My Self Care Routine (and why creating one for yourself is so important)

What have you been taught around self care? Is it selfish? Are you "supposed" to spend every hour of every day supporting everyone around you? If you engage in self care acts do you feel guilty? Does it feel uncomfortable?

I'm going to be honest, it took me a really long time to discover how important self care is to integrate into every day. I'm someone who naturally has an abundant amount of energy and so I really know how to go go go until burn out. I've done this many times where I needed to do absolutely nothing for many weeks to recuperate. I can say truthfully that I don't do that to myself anymore. I know what it feels like in my body when even the subtle bodily cues arise that I need to slow down and take care of me.

During the days and weeks I would burn myself out, I felt proud of myself. There was some feeling of purpose that was also being provided and distraction from intense emotions I didn't want to feel. Resonate at all? I mention this as wherever you're at on your own self care journey, you can trust you're exactly where you're meant to be learning the lessons you're meant to be learning.

If you sense you're needing to create a new self care routine, here are three self care acts I engage in every day.

1. Start your day in a connecting way.

Every morning, I take my dog for a 30 minute walk. This is before clients, before computers, before email and social media checking. Fresh air, special time with my dog, and getting my body moving. I find starting my day in a way that supports me in feeling connected provides me with energy and clarity throughout the rest of the morning. You can experiment to find what you want to include in your morning. This could include some kind of physical movement, meditation, interacting with nature, singing, creating art, journaling, writing poetry. Overall, if you can, postpone getting on any technology until after this self care morning act. That email, direct message, social media scrolling, it can wait.

2. Check in with yourself throughout the day.

I used to avoid my emotions. I would do anything not to feel them. If you resonate with this, I really get it. Why would we intentionally give attention to the thing that feels like it is causing us discomfort? What I have discovered and what I teach my clients is that the faster we acknowledge our emotions, the faster they dissipate and the easier they become to flow with when they arise. Our emotions can rapidly change throughout the day. One moment we can be feeling neutral and the next moment in a full out turmoil.

I often like to correlate intense emotions with a whining child. If we ignore them, they get louder. If we let our emotions know we hear them and are here for them, they calm down. I check in with myself several times throughout a day. These little check ins support with processing emotions, feeling connected, and give me an opportunity to explore what needs support in being acknowledged and released. An easy way to start incorporating these little check ins can be at times you already have something scheduled like at breakfast, lunch and dinner.

3. Nourishing end of the day routine.

My mentorship clients often ask me how I'm always "on." The truth is, I'm not. My brain, body, and soul need a break just like everyone else. I make my daily self care routine a top priority in my life so that I can be truly present in my sessions. At the end of the day, I turn off my brain. No heavy processing and no more work. Evenings are filled with baths, reading, watching my favorite shows, and eating a satiating balanced meal. The way we wind down at the end of the day can set us up for feeling refreshed the next morning. Think of every evening as a mini vacation. How would you like to spend your time in your mini vacation? Experiment with different nighttime acts and notice how you feel in the morning. Sleeping soundly and waking up refreshed can be signs that how you're spending your time at night is potentially supporting you in processing your day to enter into a new one.

These are just some examples of what a day full of self care can look like. Creating your own self care routine each and every day is not selfish. We need this time for ourselves so that we can assess if we're spending our precious time here on earth the way we desire to and the more you fill yourself up the easier it can become to be there for others. I would love to hear from you! What self care routines do you have in place? What have you experimented with already? Email me at support@stephaniemara.com anytime.