Mealtime Inner Child Healing

What were meals like in your family when you were a kid? Were they hectic? Did you feel heard? Did you feel pressure to show up a certain way? Was there fighting? Was there any fear that you wouldn't get the nourishment you needed?

Our body holds onto every memory from our past.

As you were reflecting on your childhood mealtime experiences, how did you feel in your body? Did you start to feel tense or tight or rushed? Did the rate of your breath change? These eating experiences when you were young can stay with you if they have not been digested, processed, assimilated, and released from your body. Your inner child can show up at each of your meals now still looking for the nourishing and satiating mealtime experiences they were looking for when you were younger.

I want you now to pick out one memory of a mealtime experience with your family that is a particularly strong memory. What happened in that moment? How were you responded to? How did you feel? How did you want to be responded to by your parents or your siblings? Those things you needed to hear and the ways you needed to be heard and supported, show up for your Inner Child in that way and tell them these things now. Notice how your body feels meeting your Inner Child in this new way.

Without taking the time to attune to our Inner Child before and after we eat, your Inner Child could then be showing up at every meal making your food decisions to try to get the attunement and soothing they were looking for when you were younger. Going back to those potentially painful moments and imagining that you were met and seen and held the ways you needed to be, can start to digest those childhood mealtime experiences through your body. Your Inner Child can begin to feel seen and held where your relationship with food can transform.

So how do you identify if your Inner Child is showing up while you're eating?

You might notice your Inner Child present at your meals if:

• You notice anxiety before and after eating

• You choose specific foods you ate in childhood that don't really resonate with your body anymore

• Undereating or overeating, which could be your Inner Child's way to get your attention

• You feel unsafe around mealtimes

• You over worry about eating the "right" thing and making the "perfect" meal

We cannot change what we're not aware of. It is not a problem if your Inner Child has been at center stage while you eat. This was the way they tried to get what they needed to be soothed, looked after, cared for, noticed, and attended to. Every meal now gets to be an opportunity to connect with your Inner Child and create healing experiences for them when eating. When we build a trusting relationship with our Inner Child, our body also becomes a safer place to be in as you guide your body into the parasympathetic nervous system to feel calm and relaxed.

Creating that safe and trusting relationship with your Inner Child around food might also mean that sometimes you set boundaries with your Inner Child and tell them no. Just like we tell a child, "no you cannot run with scissors" to put the care and safety of that child's body first, sometimes we're going to have to say no to our Inner Child that we're not going to eat a particular food that doesn't resonate with our current body or have more food when we're already satiated and comfortably full or no we're not going to stop eating when you have not hit satiety yet so that you can put the safety and care of your body as a top priority in your life now.

Showing up for your Inner Child in these new ways is something you can practice over and over again. Before and after your meals you can connect with your Inner Child, attune to them, hear them out, and support them in feeling emotionally satiated by your presence.