Feeling Safe and Empowered With Food When You Have Medical Food Restrictions and Food Sensitivities

In my early 20's, I went on a journey to heal my gut. After years of being in pain, I got a colonoscopy and endoscopy completed to check to make sure I didn't have a digestive disorder. Crohn's Disease and Ulcerative Colitis run in my family and only with the women in my family. It does often make me wonder what are the past traumas and wounds that the women in my family are carrying.

Anyways, the only thing the doctor prescribed me with at the time was IBS or Irritable Bowel Syndrome and told me to watch my triggers and that was it. I felt frustrated and confused. And so I dove into everything I could learn about the gut. Along the way, I tried a lot of different gut healing protocols. Now, I know many of you have heard me talk about how it's often not about food yet rather the state you're eating food in that affects how food is digested and assimilated. AND, I have a very sensitive digestive tract. I did discover along the way that there were some foods that absolutely did not work with my body and left me feeling pain, bloated, mentally foggy, digestively uneasy, and drastically affected my bowel movements.

No matter if I ate these foods in a relaxation response, with calm, and trust in my body, they just didn't resonate with my unique system. So when I see posts on social media now that talk about to heal your relationship with food you've got to be able to eat any food I get a little frustrated. Sometimes eating those foods, based on your body and whatever healing journey you may be on, will leave you feeling even more dysregulated.

If you're someone who has some kind of medical food guidance AND you're trying to heal your relationship with food to experience food as safe, this can be difficult to navigate. Having been on this exploration myself and supported others when they discover a food does not resonate with their body or needs to be taken out to support the body with a particular symptom, I wanted to offer some support if you find yourself on a similar path.

Here are four things you can explore if you're needing to change how you eat to help your body heal.

1. Don't Think of Your Eating As Restrictive

A part of Dieting Mentality is restriction. Usually, this kind of restriction is occurring to try to control your body. You were taught by diet culture and those around you that if you control your food, you can control the way you look, and then with that body appearance you can receive the love and belonging you desire. What I teach in Somatic Eating® is Boundary Mentality. When you discover that a certain food is causing you harm, to continue eating that food would actually be a great disrespect to your body. This isn't about controlling your body or trying to change your body. This is about honoring, respecting, and deeply listening to your body.

Another way to think of this is an analogy you have probably heard me use before. Think of a child running around with a pair of scissors. You would take those scissors right out of the child's hands because it's wildly unsafe for them to be running around with scissors. You want to make sure their precious body is safe. This is the same when it comes to needing to remove a food for medical or body listening purposes. So don't think of not eating that food as restriction. You want to continue to see all foods as neutral.

You don't want to put any connection on a food that it is a "bad" food as now your body will perceive that food as threatening and dangerous. And, what happens when one day you can physically invite that food back in? You may no longer need to set such a firm boundary around that food but now your body has maybe spent years thinking that food was threatening for you to consume. You just don't know where this food healing journey is going to take you so every step of the way you can continue to think of all foods as safe, while listening to your body in what way of eating is going to feel most supportive with what you're trying to heal.

2. Make It An Empowered Choice

If a part of why symptoms occur in the body is a response to past trauma, feeling like you have a choice is incredibly healing regardless of what healing path you're on. But, it may feel like your body has taken away your sense of choice. I know I felt this at times. There would be a part of me that was disappointed that I didn't have the kind of digestive tract that could just eat something and then go on my merry way. So before I move on, I want you to know that you're allowed to grieve. You're allowed to be sad that whatever you're trying to heal in your body or whatever your body is trying to tell you doesn't work for it and may never work for it that you can also be disappointed with your body's reaction. And this is still your body trying to communicate with you about what it needs to thrive.

Something you can practice instead of thinking that your choices are being limited is you can shift your attention toward what you're choosing. And what you're choosing is not necessarily about the food. What you're choosing is how you want to feel in your body. Right now, the change in what you're eating is coming from your body letting you know something isn't working for it. It's letting you know this through your symptoms and reactions to different foods. When you eat, instead of going through the list of foods in your head that you can't have, you can reflect on how whatever you eat for that meal in that moment is a choice and you get to choose the foods that leave you feeling the way you want to feel.

This can support you with navigating your meals in the parasympathetic nervous system relaxation response where you will be optimizing your digestion as this is the state we most easily assimilate our food. You get to choose to say no to some foods, not because you can't have them, but because your body makes it so that you can be alive here on this earth and you want to support this body the best you can. And here's the truth. You can have those foods. You can have the foods you're told not to eat. You can eat the foods that your body has severe reactions to. This is where you get to bring in that empowered choice that you can and you can choose to put the safety of your body as a top priority.

3. Notice How You Feel

This all brings me to my next point is that as you're setting boundaries and making empowered decisions, to continue noticing how you feel. Sometimes we receive suggestions externally that actually don't work for our body. There were many food experiments I engaged in that my body let me know that didn't work for us. This is why you get to make your body the expert. There is no expert externally that can tell you what's best for you. Only you live in your body. Only you will know how different foods and meals make you feel.

As you're eating the way you were maybe told to eat to support your body in healing or as you receive guidance about a potential food sensitivity, pause after you eat. Describe how you feel. You can do a quick body scan. Check in a few hours later as well. How's your digestion? Your mental clarity? Your mood? Your energy levels? Your body will be talking to you along the way. Sometimes a certain suggested way of eating is helpful for a period of time and then the body has gotten what it needs and will ask for something different. When you reach that point in time, this won't be that you've done something wrong. Your body is just letting you know that the way you're eating isn't supportive anymore.

Scientific American states that, "about 330 billion cells are replaced daily, equivalent to about 1 percent of all our cells. In 80 to 100 days, 30 trillion will have replenished—the equivalent of a new you." You are constantly changing. What works now may not work in another few months. This is why it's so important to continue to build trust within yourself and with your body. As you eat in a particular way and it's supporting you in feeling the way you want to feel in your body, you won't experience the way you eat as restrictive or limited. If anything, you may start to experience the gifts in eating in a way that supports your body in feeling energetic and at ease so you can go out and do all the other things you want to do with your life.

4. Get Curious About When You Crave These Foods

Sometimes even after you try all of these approaches to food, you may still find yourself thinking about a food that you're no longer eating non-stop and having a difficult time letting it go. There are many ways you can respond to yourself in these instances. First, get curious about your memories and the meaning that has been attached to this food. What do you believe you will receive from eating this food? When you recall your memories around eating this food, how did you feel? Was it the food that supported you in feeling that way or what was happening around you? So you can reflect on your past experiences with this food and you may discover you have some kind of emotional hunger arising that has nothing to do with the food itself.

Next, get to know what nervous system state you're in when you want to reach for this food. When you're in fight, flight, or freeze, you may notice your desire increase to reach for this food because it is believed to help you regulate and ground yourself. The interesting thing about the foods we are most sensitive to is that eating them is a stress to the body and your body actually produces endorphins in response to that stress. This leaves you feeling good and you can connect that good feeling to the food when actually your body is trying to protect you from the stress of eating that food. Another example of how your body has got your back. So when you feel an intense urge to reach for a particular food, you can explore if you're feeling dysregulated and you're craving that food because you have a strong correlation that this food will make you feel better.

Lastly, sometimes you just need to eat the food that doesn't work with your body over and over and over again until you're ready to receive the message and set the boundary you need to set. I have been there. I don't want to make this sound simple or easy that you just discover a food that doesn't resonate with you and immediately set a boundary or learn about a certain way of eating to heal and you just go and do that. There were some foods I was really really not ready to set a boundary with no matter how horrible it made me feel. And, if you tell yourself you just need to try harder, sometimes that can backlash even more where you find yourself eating this food every day and feeling worse and worse.

So, if you feel like you're not yet ready to let a certain food go, don't. But, when you decide to eat this food, eat it with your whole body. Slow down with it. Describe the taste and texture and smells of this food. Explore what is it about this food that brings a momentary sense of safety that feels worth it for the long term discomfort. You might need to take some time to get really intimate with this food and remember it's your choice. You get to choose to eat it and allow that decision to be alright. With time, you may notice something shift and change where the short term discomfort of saying no to that food becomes worth it for the long term ease you feel in your body not eating that food. This takes time and you get to take all the time you need.

This process that I had to go through was a huge inspiration in my creation of Somatic Eating®.

If you found this supportive today and would like to dive in deeper with me, the next Somatic Eating® Program is coming up on April 20th. We will spend 11 weeks together creating a safe, secure, and satiated relationship with your food and body. To learn more and sign up, go to somaticeating.com. If you have questions and would like to book a free 20 minute Connect Call with me, you can go to stephaniemara.com/lets-chat.