Ask These 5 Questions To Break The Binge-Restrict Cycle

The diet culture fuels the binge-restrict cycle. When it comes to diets, usually it begins with some kind of restriction that is externally forced upon your body. It doesn’t matter what your body tells you, as long as you follow the rules. Restriction might start with cutting out certain food groups without the internal information from your body telling you that food doesn’t work for you.

Again, it’s all about following the rules; a place where your inner perfectionist might feel like it can really shine here. Restriction might also look like eating less, not based on bodily feedback of hunger and fullness cues, but based on what you’re being taught you need to do to reach some goal that has other deeper desires behind it often of really wanting to feel loved and accepted.

When the body doesn’t get what it needs nutritionally and emotionally, at some point, your body is going to take over for you. It needs more food than you’re maybe giving it. It needs more macro and micronutrients than it's getting. It needs more attention and care. And then, the binge happens. At that point, it doesn’t matter what food you’re eating anymore. Your body has taken over and is urging you to eat to get what it needs.

First, let's not see this pattern as "bad." The binge is actually necessary for your body to get the nutritional support it requires to thrive. Thank you binge! This cycle though can leave you feeling disembodied and disconnected. There are things underneath the desire to restrict that are needing your attention. To break the restrict-binge cycle, we need to start to see it not as the problem, rather as a messenger from your body that has wisdom to offer you. The cycle needs to be interrupted to then be able to attend to the emotional wounds your body may be holding onto that the restriction and binging is protecting you from feeling.

To break free from the restrict-binge cycle, connect with your body, how it is feeling, and how it is communicating to you what it needs through sensations, you can begin by:

Asking these 5 Somatic Eating™ questions.

1. What does your mind think you will receive from eating a particular food or not eating at all?

We need to start to understand what your mind believes you will receive from engaging in the restriction or binging behavior. Is it going to give you a sense of control? What feels out of control in your life? Do you believe it will give you a feeling of calm or peace or relaxation? Here you will be practicing taking a pause between the desire to engage in the restrict or binge behavior and invite in curiosity to explore what you think engaging in that behavior is going to give you.

2. How does your body feel after restricting your food or binging on certain foods long term?

Now we're exploring this behavior and how it feels and what sensations show up in your body when you engage in them. The thing about restricting or binging is that it can be a very disembodying experience. And, this kind of relationship with food may be giving you what you want in the moment, but not long term. By identifying how you feel an hour, two hours, even 24 hours later after you engage in restriction or binging, you can start to challenge your mind when it tells you, "Let's do this food behavior just one more time and it will give you exactly what you need." You know from embodied memory that these food behaviors actually WON'T give you the emotions and sensations you want to feel in your body long term.

3. What was your day like before this impulse arose?

Often there is something that sparked the urge to restrict and/or binge. Maybe you had a stressful day. Maybe something reminded you of a past wound. Maybe you got into a fight with a loved one. Bringing in context every time you feel the desire to engage in these food behaviors can foster self compassion. You are not weak for having these urges. This is not a sign of your character. The desire to restrict or binge might be coming up as a way to protect you from feeling intense sensations showing up in your body. Getting curious about what might be sparking the urge to engage in these food behaviors can put the power back in you that you have a choice about what actions are going to feel most grounding and supportive to you.

4. What emotions are present now?

Restricting or binging might be trying to distract you from attending to what is showing up in your body. By giving yourself space to acknowledge your emotions in the moment makes them less scary where these food behaviors no longer need to protect you from you. Slowing down and being with what is can make reaching for food less interesting. We need to start to make your emotions your friends and allies so that when they show up they can be welcomed to the table with open arms.

5. Are there any other non food actions you could engage in that would provide you with the emotions and sensations you’re looking to feel?

When the urge to restrict or binge is present, sometimes we can forget that there are other actions to engage in. You now may have more awareness around what you're trying to receive from these food behaviors, how you want to feel in your body, what has happened recently in your life, and what emotions are present right now to assess what other non-food actions you could engage in that would support you in feeling how you want to feel in your body in the moment and long term. This might also include eating a quality balanced meal if you have been restricting lately. You deserve to choose actions that support you in feeling cared for, seen, heard, and held while you're engaging in them and in 2, 3, 4 hours as well.

When feeling caught in the restrict-binge cycle it can potentially feel hard to imagine not being in that cycle anymore. Slowing down and asking these questions with practice and time can facilitate showing up for yourself in new ways. Remember, you're never ever doing anything wrong. Healing from being in this cycle will not look linear. One day you may experiment with one of these questions and the next day you may want to feel the safety of the cycle. Just keep taking small bite sized steps forward and trust you're where you're meant to be each step of the way.